Eat your way to happiness

Pooja Bedi

Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong willed, personally and professionally successful modern Indian woman who has donned many hats. Her prolific career spans the worl

We love food, but so often it becomes a bitter-sweet relationship between food and our health, mental & emotional well-being, and also self-worth.

There are those of us who live to eat and those who eat to live. An epicure, connoisseur, gourmet, gourmand, gastronomist are those who take pleasure in activating all their senses through food and drink and cherish and relish smell, taste and visual appeal of what they choose to intake. For most of us food is for mainly for existence, indulgence and an emotional experience. There are so many memories associated with a specific dish, and it can trigger emotions & identity. Given that food and our food habits are directly responsible for our health and overall well-being it’s important to have a positive relationship with food. Labelling foods as “bad”, calling a meal that doesn’t fit your current diet plan a “cheat meal” or punishing yourself for eating something that you didn’t want to only increases feelings of shame, guilt and self-hate. Given that food is something we experience multiple times a day, isn’t this negative association with food even unhealthier? Dieting with stringent attitude of depravation and can be just as damaging mentally as binge-eating. Fact is food is emotional for us. On an emotional level feeling of love triggers dopamine in the brain, on a physical level certain foods like carbs and chocolates trigger dopamine and serotonin and help greatly with feelings of anxiety, stress, depression and fatigue. To feel stressed and unhappy about eating them is contradictory and absolutely useless. Our entire relationship with food is similar to the way we love and live. Are we experiencing it mindfully or mindlessly? Do you just pop anything into your mouth, because it’s available? Are you bingeing on something because you genuinely feel good eating it or because it’s emotionally comforting? Watch the way you eat, is it in front of a television, is it portion sized or till the last morsel in the pan? Do you even enjoy every meal or eat it for the sake of eating? Do you eat when you’re hungry or because it’s time to eat? Do you experience unhappiness towards food when your jeans are tight? Now ask yourself this of your relationships. Do you have people in your life that are there for the sake of being there or because they are worthy of it? Do you enter random relationships for emotional gratification or because they are valid and important? Do you use relationships as coping mechanisms, just as you do with food? When you understand that we live and eat with the same intent the relationship between emotional and physical gluttony or emotional and physical indulgence or emotional and physical needs all become apparent. love or food are the two major components for our happy quotient. Mindfulness is the key to ensuring that both become a positive association. Stopping yourself from loving because you got hurt, isn’t the path to happiness. Being strict and paranoid about people entering your life isn’t either. It’s the same with food. Food and love drive our existence and life force. Make whoever or whatever enters your inner space a worthy, respected and cherished one. 

  1.  I think that I have some mental issues when it comes to love.  Every time I fall in love with someone and I am in a committed relationship I begin to lose interest in my partner. Following which I begin to fall for someone else. It has happened thrice back to back. Do I have a disease? 

You need to analyse your definition of love, what makes you feel you are in love, and also the reason you seek relationships. Passionate flings, chemistry riddled brief relationships and a steady long term relationship dynamic are completely different headspaces. Ask yourself what are the top 5 essentials of a relationship and if a majority are present, then it just requires a bit more effort on both ends to make it work long term.


  1. How do you cut off from people who don’t care a shit for you and never bother to put in the effort? I do feel we have great chemistry and compatibility. Please help. 

Accepting someone’s apathy stems from a lack of self-value. There are millions of people out there with whom you can find chemistry and compatibility if you keep an open mind and open heart. Why focus on someone with whom feelings are one-sided? A daily practice of self-love and working on self-worth issues will open doors to the right ones and instinctively shut doors when it feels violative. 

  1. I am not doing well financially, am a spinster and I have given up on finding someone.  I really feel lonely some days. Wonder what the future holds for me.  I am working from home and tutoring kids. I want to know if I am making a mistake by closing the doors on romance?

If you’re writing this it means you are still hopeful and that’s wonderful! There is no time limit for the right person, it’s about you being ready and open to it. Most important rule of manifestation is to focus on your dreams, not your fears. Dream it, believe it, materialise it. Manifestation does not entertain closed doors and full stops. 



Views expressed above are the author’s own.


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